[quote=“Skyrison”]Yes elric. I have worked on myself and my mind majorly over the years, and patience is one of the many things, if not MAIN thing I pride myself on! I didn’t always use to be like that! I really really worked hard on myself through meditation, telling myself no, having control over my mind and thoughts, and really sticking to a plan. sex is not really one of the first things on my mind, especially when I’m with somebody. To me, it’s a thing that just happens naturally when you two are close. It’s no big deal if it DOESNT happen. I don’t let it make me a miserable person because I don’t have sex. I’ve just really learned to let go and control myself since I was about…24? 25? something awakened in me more. I call them phases. but im digressing lol 
I’m not really going around looking for a wife, family or kids or any shit like that. so I’ve been thinking of a vasectomy more and more. she doesnt want kids either, so that works out well. lol
I’ll have a talk with her at some point. also, to me? It’s more about connecting on the same energy plane in the mind. and one of the big reasons im still with her, despite some flaws, is because we connect on more than a surface level. it just goes well with both of our lives. we are both introverts and it works out well. but she DOES have to work a bit better on seeing me more 
other than that it’s cool![/quote]
Okay, last comment from me on the subject [on this thread at least 
]
I’ve been attracted to girls since my earliest memories. Like when I got lost at the yearly agricultural fair at the Sydney Easter show, a good looking girl picked me up and took me to the lost childrens tent. Nuzzling into her ample cleavage I was confused why my pecker went hard.
Shit, I was 3yo. When her BF looked at me I glared at him like he was a rival. It was like he understood because he grinned as he looked away.
Then at 5yo, I’d target my mates older sisters when we played ‘crocodile’ in their swimming pool. And that pesky lump between my legs would go as hard as a rock. It was confusing except that I KNEW that for some reason, I really liked girls.
Since my parents are ultra-religious I was taught the usual nonsense that ‘casual sex is a filthy thing but once married it becomes a gift from God’.
On the other hand there were the blokes who had the attitude that it’s a blokes duty unto himself to nail any chick at every opportunity.
The truth of the matter laid somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.
It wasn’t until I was around 16-17yo when I realised that casual sex was great in the moment but when I had no feelings for a girl, as soon as the fun was over it left me with an empty feeling that left me rather confused. How could I go from ‘really really liking’ a girl during the chase but then feel nothing for her after I’d had my way with her?
It boils down to the difference between lust and love doesn’t it?
Not that that revelation changed my habits too much at the time - thank Thor for alcohol - but as I got older I realised that I was much happier and content when I was intimate with a girl that I had feelings for with whom I was in a relationship.
I’ve always had a healthy libido so the answer for me was to be in a monogamous relationship [if she was bi she was welcome to invite one of her girl friends to join us ]
Up until I was diagnosed with Buergers disease, I was either in a relationship or had a monogamous ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement [usually an older women].
Most blokes face the ‘lust v love’ conundrum at some point in their life.
I guess that it boils down to mutual respect and knowing what’s right for oneself.
The most important thing I learnt was that when we spend time interacting with others, there’s an exchange of energy. [A good example of this at a basic level is how people will come back from living in another country for several months, like Britain or the U.S., where they come back with a hint of an accent]
When we are intimate with a girl there’s a much bigger exchange of energy.
Also, when we’re intimate with a girl we’re taking on bacteria from every other bloke they’ve slept with. [Why I would not ever go to a brothel]
Sure, physical attraction is just a fact of life, without which what’s the point? But since understanding that, it would not matter how hot a girl is, if she’s not a nice person I’m not interested.
That’s me.
We are all on our individual journeys through life. One mans meat is another mans poison. Each to their own and all that.
Hope that things work out with your GF one way or the other sky.
