Post Your Favorites, New stuff, Fiction, True, etc …
Hey Uncle, thank you for the invite to share some of my ‘educating fellow road users’ stories here.
Most of them would give others who don’t know me well the wrong idea about me as they don’t pass the PG rating.
I’m not a violent man by nature but I’m a typical Taurus in the sense that it takes a bit to push me over the edge but once someone pushes me past a point and I lose it . . . like a bull in a china shop.
This one incident does pass the PG rating, just, but it’s a very good example how complete strangers would come together for the common good 
We’re going back to around 1983.
One morning I was driving an ex-girlfriend to work in her car [An XLE Cortina with a 250ci straight 6 - me liked that car] as I needed it for some reason.
Driving from the northern beaches we were going through St Ives on Mona Vale Rd where it was raining so hard that the entire road was covered in several inches of water.
Really dangerous driving conditions.
I’m a bit of a lead foot but even I was driving under the speed limit.
It’s a six lane road and I was on the inside lane closest to the guttering, when this fool came tearing past me, pulled in front of me before hitting his brakes.
When I dived on the brakes to avoid going up his arse, there was so much water on the road that the brakes on one side grabbed, pulling me towards the gutter and a telegraph pole.
It was only because this dickhead then released his brakes, that allowed me to release my brakes, that stopped me from hitting anything.
It really got my heart racing.
It was such irresponsible driving, especially considering the conditions, that I was less than impressed.
The dickhead had pulled into the middle lane so I got alongside his car and looked at him so he could explain himself.
Rather than waving a hand of apology, this fuckwit looked at me laughing, put his thumb on his nose wiggling his fingers like it was one big joke.
The red mist descended. If it was the only thing that I achieved that day, it was to have a chat face to face with this dickhead.
I got behind him and followed until dickhead noticed that the traffic lights further ahead had turned red, where he then slowed down to a crawl to avoid coming to a complete stop.
That’s when something wonderful happened; several cars in the three lanes immediately in front of dickhead all stopped a hundred yards before the traffic lights, trapping him. At that point the heavy rain had stopped [I was that fired up that rain would not have stopped me 
]
Leaping out of the Cortina, I raced to dickheads door. In that moment I seriously wanted to drag him through his window and give the dickhead a thorough touch-up. 
However, the weak prick had wound up his windows and locked his doors.
He had a tight grip of his steering wheel as he looked dead ahead avoiding eye contact.
I was freakn furious. How dare he drive like that, nearly putting me into a telegraph pole, laughing about it, then refusing to have the guts to face me.
When was at his door and said “Get out!” He stiffened but continued to look ahead. Then I roared “GET OUT!!!” he quivered with fear and started sliding down his seat [that’s when I think he pissed himself]
Then I started screaming at him, basically saying how he nearly fucked me up because he was driving like a retard, he slunk further and further down his seat. He was clearly terrified and that’s when I could see that he had pissed his pants [and I’m guessing that he also shit himself]
As much as I wanted to smash his window and drag him out of his car, I’m simply unable to strike someone who’s submitting. It’s just not in me no matter how furious I am. [Had he given me the finger or told me to fuck off he would have been dead meat]
However, I simply could not let it go without leaving him a physical reminder for his astounding stupidity.
After sharing that I was extremely unhappy that he almost put me into a telegraph pole, I roared “AND YOU THEN THINK THAT’S FUNNY?!?”
Dickhead was driving the latest model Holden Commodore that had a new style of moulded side mirrors.
I struck said mirror with my fist, snapping it in two and roared “DO YOU THINK THAT’S [also] FUNNY?”.
As I returned to the Cortina, a fellow motorist tooted his horn.
Since I was a touch fired up I swung around ready for another confrontation, when much to my pleasant surprise, all the drivers behind me were giving me a thumbs up or clapping. [It made me realise that I did what many of them would have liked to have done]
Then as I got back in the car I saw that the cars that had initially blocked the dickhead, had patiently waited for me to finish ‘educating’ the dickhead and get back in my vehicle before they moved off, despite the fact that the road in front of them was clear and the lights were green.
It then became obvious that this dickhead had been driving in terrible conditions like an absolute lunatic without any care for fellow road users, also putting others in harms way.
Although my little altercation had inconvenienced hundreds of cars behind me, not a single one complained.
They all patiently waited for me to finish having a chat with this fool while they enjoyed the show 
Once I’d gotten back behind the wheel, only then did the cars in front start to move.
The dickhead in the Commodore must have been seriously traumatised, realising that he came within an inch of receiving a thorough flogging [man was I furious] He moved off slowly, put on his indicator to move to the inside lane before turning into the first side street to recover and change his soiled pants.
The ex-gf waited several minutes for me to regain my composure before she asked “Feeling better?”. 
I’d picked up the broken side mirror and threw it in the back seat. Those new side mirrors were made in two pieces; one that attached to the side of the car and the mirror piece itself. The two pieces were held together by a large spring.
I’d assumed that I’d just knocked one piece off at the spring but upon closer inspection I saw that it had broken close to where it attached to the car.
Dickhead was so lucky that it wasn’t his head that I thumped.
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Thank You.
We are of the same mind when it comes to educating folks.
And yet there was that one time …
We were working as a rodie for the band.
The band had a gig that turned out to be at an all black club, deep in the woods.
Yes , it got wild.
An all White Band with rodies, all a bunch of Crackers. lol. The drummer in particular.
More about Him in a moment.
Playing in an all Black club.
It was a recipe…
We got everything all set up and then started to mingle with the folks there.
We’ve never been racist, some of Our best friends were black. Our first love was a half breed.
There in the midst of all that,
We saw Her.
An Ebony Princess right out of Our Wildest Dreams.
We approached Her and made Our Intentions Crystal clear.
Of course, the Bucks didn’t take too well to this.
She was utterly flattered.
Explained that She had more "Boy"friends than She knew what to do with.
We then explained that We weren’t interested in all that,
That We wanted Her to be Our Queen of Our Empire.
The Mother of Future Kings.
The place lit up!!!
All the young bucks were snorting and stamping, but We kept Our attention on Her. She was all that mattered in the moment.
Just then a Shout came from the back, followed by a laugh.
"You Boys should be paying attention.
The young brother just showed you all how you’re supposed to treat a lady.
Now you all back off and let that young lady make up her own mind."
She politely declined Our offer.
So We made Our exit.
Went outside to have a smoke and wait for the band to finish the gig.
As We were finishing that smoke , one of the other rodies came hurrying out , looked around, saw Us and came running over.
"It’s My Van.
That Drummer is starting some shit.
I’m leaving.
You want a ride?"
And off We went.
The next day.
The manhunt was on.
Nobody knew where the Drummer had gotten to.
They finally found him in a ditch barely alive.
Three days later when he woke up,
He laughed about it.
Some folks just are unteachable.
Dog Chow Stew
It was back in the early '80’s, that We found Ourselves working as a Maintenance Man at a Multi-Story Townhouse that was built in the 1800’s.
We lived in the room off the Basement as part of Our Pay for the job.
The Day We moved in several folks showed up to help, and it turned into a Welcome Party.
Someone brought a Keg.
Somebody else brought a large bag of Herbs.
And Someone had some powder (Never touched the Stuff).
In the Midst thereof, a cry was Heard; “Dude! Got any Grub?”
Say What???
We just moved in.
No trip to Store for Supplies.
Not wanting to be One of those folks, We went into the Kitchen to see what was there.
We found 2 cans of Whole Potatoes, a can of Corn, a can of Green Beans, a can of Carrots, a Half a loaf of Bread, and about Half a bag of Purina Dog Chow.
Put everything except the Bread in a large pot with just enough water to cover the mix and set the fire on Low.
Soon the Aroma was permeating the place, More folks showed up asking “What Ya Cooking?”
“Stew” was all We answered.
We requested some Bowls and spoons which soon appeared and We pronounced that It was Ready.
It went over Well.
It (the Stew) disappeared fast.
We didn’t get to try any.
The Wildest Part …
Folks were begging for the recipe.
lol
thank you for the read. now I want some stew!
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Purina dog chow huh?
That reminds me of the time that I was making a weeks worth of roo stew for my beautiful Rotti boy [That was just before I started feeding my dogs a 100% raw meaty bone and offal diet] in a big pot.
A mate had turned up with a mate of his that I didn’t particularly like. [Let’s call him Fred for convenience]
He was one of those types who was overly familiar with acquaintances. Not my kind of guy.
While sitting back at the kitchen table, Fred went to the stove, lifted the lid off the pot of stew, stuck his fat nose in the pot and sniffed before taking a large spoon I’d been using to stir the pot, gave it a stir and helped himself to a large spoonful of stew without even asking [yes, one of those types 
]
It was a large long handled serving spoon so he ate a couple of large mouthfuls.
Licking the spoon clean he remarked how he loved stews.
He said something like “That’s delicious. What is it?”
My mate and I laughed our heads off when we saw the look on his face when I told him that it was roo stew for the dogs dinner. [Back then roo was not sold for human consumption]
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Found It !!!
Many , Many Lifetimes ago.
WE were in Uncle Sam’s Canoe Club , stationed in Conn. …
A Mate and Us were out Bar Hoppin’ when He suggested We go to a certain bar.
We questioned his decision as the aforementioned place was “Off-Limits” to Enlisted Personnel.
His reply, “Of Course it is. That’s where the Happening is though. You coming?”
Not being One to abandon a Mate (even when One knows He Be Crazy) We went.
Nice place !!!
Great Band !!!
Pretty Girls Everywhere !!!
In the midst thereof We caught site of a fellow Traveler in the crowd.
We approached the Brother and introduced Ourselves , made Our request for assistance in finding something for Our Head , and walked on by.
Later while We were in the Head relieving Ourself ,
A voice from behind inquires “You Looking???”
“That’s Us.”
“How Much?”
Got a $20 , We do.
Held it behind Our Back , they took it , and a clenched fist appeared in front of Us.
We placed Our hand under his and was delighted to feel somethings land in our Palm.
10 Hits of mescalin.
Score !!!
Took 2 right there. set 2 out for Our Mate , and put the rest in Our cigarette pack.
Went back to the Dance Floor and continued Dancing,
Soon We started to feel it real good …
Then We turned and was Stunned into motionless by the most Majestic set of Boobs (Nipples right there at Eye Level)
We had ever seen.
Without thinking, We looked up into Her Eyes and said, “Did You know that God gave You the Most Beautiful set of Tits in all of Creation?”
Big Beautiful Amazon Just Slaps the “F” out of Us.
Turns and walks off.
A moment later We become aware that folks are in a panic , some heading for the doors , some frozen in place with bewildered looks on their faces.
Just then Our Mate shows up , grabs Us by the arm , “We got to Go!!!”.
As We were leaving the Parking lot on foot , suddenly Cop Cars come in from all directions lights flashing.
We kept walking and as We rounded the corner he asked, “Did You see who got shot?”
“Got Shot??” , We asked.
“Didn’t You hear it?”
Seems the “Slap” was misinterpreted as a “Gun Shot”.
We told him what had happened to Us.
And at this point a “Cop Car” rounds the Corner in front of us.
Lights off. Running Dark.
Pulls up beside us and eases by real slow,
then pulls into the driveway behind us to turn around.
Our Mate asks, “How many hits did You get?”
“We got 6 in Our pocket.”
“Fuck , Dude . What are you going to do? Here they come.”
We quickly “Palmed” them and “down the Hatch” while attempting to appear to do nothing other than get a smoke.
Then , they drove on by. Turned their lights on and round the corner they went.
“You didn’t! Tell me You did not do what I think You just did.” Our Mate Exclaims!
“What choice did We have? They were too close. Wasn’t gonna take the chance.”
What an Experience that turned out to be.
Saw / Heard Music coming out of a Radio that was not even plugged in.
Then it got Weird.
How We got Our Names.
There is the Given Name that We got upon Our Arrival.
Then there is @Uncle Thanky.
Uncle Thanky was given to Us by Our Niece , that is not Our Niece.
Many Decades ago one of Our “Cousins” on Mom’s side of the Family meet this woman and they got involved.
Three days later , He discovers that She is doing the Crack.
He proceeds to wait until she leaves to go Score, …
Loads up the kids and takes them to an Abandoned house deep in the woods, calls the Local Sheriff and reports the Mother.
She gets arrested for Felony Possession with Intent to Distribute and Child Abandonment.
He raises the girls as His Own with the help of another one he gets involved with.
During this time it is discovered that the oldest baby girl cannot say the letter F .
It comes out as a Th sound.
And We’ve been Uncle Thanky to her ever since.
An interesting side note to this story.
Our Given Name at Birth and Uncle Thanky both have the same numerical value.
[quote=“Uncle Thanky”]Big Beautiful Amazon Just Slaps the “F” out of Us.
Turns and walks off.[/quote]
Then it got Weird
What’s mescalin like?
Always wanted to try that after watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
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More like 'Shrooms than Acid , yet the visuals were more intense.